Chip Hoffa | Official Site of Chip Hoffa

Single is scary.

Single is scary.

I strive for a relationship as deep as the ocean.

First of all, I should begin this by saying I’m not a relationship expert. However, I am confident in what I want in a relationship.

I do believe that everyone wants and deserves to share their life with someone else. I also believe that partners should share the same path. If you’re walking down separate paths, how can you expect to stay on course? The quality of our relationships are enhanced by the quantity of time you spend together.

I’ve come to realize, before I could create and sustain a positive relationship with someone else, I had to establish a positive relationship with my OWN self. This meant looking in the mirror and taking accountability for my inability to process my own emotions and my refusal to be real with myself. I had to take ownership of my pain, insecurities and defenses. I had to accept that these things were a huge contributing factor to my past relationships and recognize it wasn’t just because “it wasn’t meant to be.”

It was only when I challenged myself to understand myself better, that my self confidence grew and my intention of wanting a relationship shifted significantly. I attracted a different group of people to me with genuine qualities verses acts of desperation and insincerity. I noticed my ability to soothe myself when I felt uncomfortable, verses relying solely on someone else to take away my fears and then becoming angry with that person because he couldn’t.

The only way you’ll ever be given the support, love, adoration and respect that you deserve is by becoming the truest and most authentic version of yourself. And this will mean standing up for yourself and knowing when to refuse to settle for something that might seem “good enough,” and it’s in these moments that I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes, “What comes easy won’t last and what lasts, won’t come easy.”

When you’ve been able to overcome who the world has told you to be and step in to your own life — that’s when the best things will start to come your way, including the best people. So. Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. Often, when nothing is certain, anything is possible. Acknowledge and accept where you are, right now and everything else will come rushing to you.

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